This morning my alarm went off a 6am as it does every school day for my children and as habit I hit the snooze two times. The third and finally time my alarm went off I stumble out of bed telling my self you must get up your kids can't be late for school. As a puffy eyed (thank you daddy for swollen puppy eyes the older I get), bad breathed, unsure footed mama I throw some clothes on and head into my boys room to wake them and get them ready for school. Now if any one knows me I am not much of a morning person and above all I hate noise in the morning I need a good hour before I have any body talking to me none stop due to that my poor boys eat in silence as I shoo sh them every time they get two loud. Though like this morning it does always happen quick enough and they wake their ever jabbering baby sister who doesn't stop talking the moment she rolls out of bed. Hence this mama needs her darling princess to get at least an hours more worth the beauty sleep then her mama. Now on morning like these I fight the ever battling "Davis temper in me". I begin to feel it rising in me saying everything is irritating me, everyone just needs to leave me along I just was some quiet time!!!!!!!!! Now if you are a mama of three those demands are very much unable to be met. So the choice are give in and be grumpy, yelling, irritated mama today or find away to let go of the anger and allow peace in my life. Sadly to many times to mention I have choose the grumpy path but, today I had such a distaste in my mouth for this weakness of mine I was determined to give this weariness and lack of peace to the Lord.
I sat down with a little devotional I had just picked up that gives your scriptures to pray over your self in specific situations. So I looked up weariness...
He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; He offers strength to the weak. Even youth will be come exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:29-31
This is the beautiful scripture that they start with; now this is a very familiar scripture to me because when I was in ministry school I use to scream it out as I ran a 5am in the morning and was "beating my body and making it my slave". But, today as a mother this scripture was so much more then just a way to motivate me to run past my weary, weak body but, to know that my loving heavenly Father wants to take my weary self as a mother who is finding it hard to truly put my children needs above my own. We are taught as mother to always put our kids needs above our own, to love them unconditionally, to never let our selfishness lead our choices and ways of mothering. But, by golly that is hard. That is one of the hardest thing I have and am working on in my life and quite frankly many days it is impossible for me because I am to weak. So as I read that scripture to day I feel the loving gently urging of the Holy Spirit saying; Sarah this is the weakness the Lord means too..He will give you strength today to move past your irritation, your tiredness, your anger... That he will give you the wings to mount up on and I can soar as a mother and love my children and guide them beyond my abilities but, with His strength, His love, His temperament.
I cling to this today because today I am tired, to day I am weak, to day anger is lurking around the corner!!!!!!!!!
